sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize