Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
