You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
