you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
