using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize