I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
