the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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