Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
