sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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