Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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