I wanna bring you to show and tell
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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