Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
