Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
