Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
