Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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