I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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