erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
honey bunches of taint.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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