I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
