think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
