I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
