the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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