Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
