just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
