your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
