Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
