Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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