i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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