Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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