he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
