Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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