i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
