There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
