Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
did i walk over a car last night?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
