oh god the rape fog is back!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I did not marry a roomba.
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