My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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