i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
