i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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