To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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