Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
