she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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