OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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