i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
