Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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