I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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