I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
should my penis look like a turkey
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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