capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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