I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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