I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
