People with herpes should wear stickers.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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