You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
