While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
