I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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