I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
