just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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