the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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