he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
