There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
