do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
