i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
